Fridays and Feelings

It’s been three weeks.

I know,

it sounds dramatic

to say

he doesn’t even notice

I’m not reaching out anymore,

but that’s just how I feel.

And honestly?

Those feelings

have been all over the place.

One minute I’m relieved,

thinking,

Thank God I dodged THAT bullet.

The next,

I’m sitting there like,

Damn, how did we mess this up so badly?

The truth is,

life hasn’t stopped

just because my emotions

are doing a two-step.

I have other problems,

other interests

to keep me busy.

Work.

Hobbies.

Life.

But here’s the thing:

every Friday,

without fail,

I cry.

Maybe

it’s because Friday

was the last time

I heard from him,

or

maybe it’s just

the end-of-the-week exhaustion

hitting me

like a ton of bricks.

Either way,

the tears come,

and I let them.

No fighting it.

No bottling it up.

I’ve decided

for now

that it’s okay

to feel this hurt.

It’s okay

to let the tears flow

and

acknowledge the pain.

There’s no shame

in missing someone

or

in grieving what could’ve been,

even if I know

deep down

it’s for the best.

One day,

this won’t hurt anymore.

One day,

I’ll look back

and feel nothing.

Or maybe

I’ll feel gratitude

for what I’ve learned

about myself

through this process.

But until then,

Fridays

will be

what they are:

messy, emotional, and raw.

Because

healing isn’t linear.

It doesn’t have a timeline.

And right now,

I’m just riding the waves,

certain

that they’ll calm eventually.

They have to.

Reina Dee🌿