Stuck, But Still Moving

I’m stuck.

And not in some cute,

metaphorical way

where I find a silver lining

in the struggle.

No,

I mean stuck.

Heavy.

Weighed down

by everything that’s happening

in this world

~

to people,

to me.

Writing

feels impossible

when my mind is cluttered

with so much pain,

so many

unanswered questions.

But

I wake up

and do what I can.

I put one foot

in front of the other,

even when

I don’t know exactly

where I’m going,

or

sometimes even why

I am headed in

that direction.

Stuck or not,

I know

that I have prayed already.

I have already spoken

to My

Heavenly Father.

I have already told him about how I am feeling.

I have even told him about

what I am not feeling.

So,

I have

to

trust in Him.

My prayers.

My prayers are keeping me sane.

I pray to Jehovah

for strength,

for wisdom,

for the courage

to keep going when I don’t feel I can.

I ask Him

to forgive everybody,

because honestly?

It’s a hot mess down here.

People are hurting.

Children are suffering.

The weight of it

(although it's not all mine to carry)

feels unbearable sometimes.

I pray that one day,

I will hold my grandsons again.

My granddaughters.

My children.

And I pray

for the man

I love

more than anything

in this world.

I pray that he is happy.

That he is safe.

That the people he loves

are happy and safe, too.

I want the ones I love

to have the feeling of warmth,

of love,

of peace that makes us whole.

I don’t have the motivation.

But I do have

A mustard seed amount size of faith.

And with it,

I can move mountains.

Matthew 17:20

~

"...For truly I say to you,

if you have faith

the size of a mustard grain,

you will say to this mountain,

'Move from here to there,'

and it will move,

and nothing

will be impossible

for you."

Reina Dee🌿