Trying to Catch Up

It’s only Tuesday,

but somehow

I feel like

I’ve already missed

the whole year.

That feeling of being behind

—of not measuring up to some invisible clock—

I set for myself

keeps pressing on me.

I know deep down

those standards are mine,

not anyone else’s.

Still,

shaking that weight off

is harder

than it sounds.

I’ve been through a lot.

And it’s okay

that it’s taking me

some time to find

my way back

to myself again.

I'm trying.

What matters is

that I am finding my way.

Each day

I feel a little better.

Exercise

is starting to come easier,

and

more than ever

I want to return

to my spiritual routine.

I miss that grounding,

that

quiet connection

that

reminds me

of

who I am

beyond

everything I’ve lost.

Another thing

on my mind right

now is buying a car.

The truth is,

my credit score

isn’t where

it needs to be yet.

That’s a project for this year

—getting my finances back on track—

just like

I’m doing with

my body and my spirit.

One step at a time.

I’m learning

that moving on

from grief

doesn’t mean forgetting

or leaving love behind.

For me,

it means carrying

that love with me

and letting it guide me

into something new.

Honoring it

by choosing to live,

even when it hurts,

even when it’s messy.

So that’s where I am today.

Trying to piece together

the peace

and the joy

that used to fill my spirit.

And in the meantime,

I’ll keep showing up for myself

the best I can

working out,

studying,

writing,

cleaning,

and meditating.

Praying

that the ones I love

have a blessed and safe day. 🕊️

—Reina Dee🌿