Believing in Us 🕊️

Once

again,

my thoughts

return to love

~

My Love

~ and

Prayers.

I’ve been praying

about us

since the very first day

I saw him.

There’s so much

tied up

in those prayers:

hope,

fear,

and,

if I’m honest,

doubt.

Doubt in things

I wish

I didn’t question.

Doubt

I sometimes

let settle

into my heart.

Believing in Us?

There are days

I believe

the whispers

that I’ll never be with him,

or worse,

that God

doesn’t hear

my prayers at all.

The hardest part?

When those

doubts

don’t come from

within

but from the people

I love most.

That hits differently,

doesn’t it?

It’s like

nailing every step

of a job interview process

~ knowing you’re qualified,

knowing you deserve it

~ but still feeling

in a fog

when you finally

get the call

or email

offering you the job.

You

question

the moment

you’ve worked so hard for,

even when

it’s

yours.

That’s

what it’s been like

with

My Love.

He is

my most precious friend,

someone

I treasure deeply.

My prayers

aren’t just for us

but for him

~

for his heart

and

his relationship

with God.

I want him

to feel

peace

and

fulfillment,

whether

or

not

that includes me.

The

last thing

I’d ever want

is to harm

what he holds sacred

or

to become a source

of distraction

or pain.

For my part,

I know

I need to

have more faith.

Faith in God.

Faith in myself.

Faith

in my ability

to make good decisions.

Faith

in him,

and

in the love

I have for him.

Maybe,

just maybe,

that faith

will give our love

the space

to evolve into

something beautiful.

Or maybe it won’t.

Either way,

I’m done worrying about it.

~

Reina Dee 🌿