Resisting Isolation

I read

Proverbs 18:1 yesterday:

“Whoever

isolates himself

pursues

his own selfish desires;

He rejects

all practical wisdom.”

That hit me hard.

Right now,

I feel like

isolating

myself

from the world.

My heart

feels broken

in ways I didn’t even

know it

could break.

Isolation.

Hiding away,

shutting everyone out

~ it feels like

the easiest choice.

But

I’m trying

to take that counsel

to heart,

even if my emotions

are fighting me

every step of

the way.

Warren G.

(my therapist

~ that’s what I call him🤪),

the Bible,

prayer,

and whatever

that unyielding force

inside me is

~ the thing that

won’t let me quit

~ are the

only reasons

I haven’t crumbled.

And,

of course,

Jehovah God

and

His holy spirit.

There’s comfort

in knowing

I’m not

alone,

even when

I feel like I am.

I

remind

myself

over and over

that this

is what’s best.

Letting go

of people who

weren’t beneficial

to my life

(and not materially)

was the right thing to do.

I know that.

But,

oh, the heart.

It holds on

longer than it should,

like a

stubborn child

refusing

to release their grip.

So,

here I am,

stuck between

knowing and feeling

~

between

the wisdom of letting go

and the ache

of wanting to hold on.

Saying and doing

are two entirely different things.

They always have been.

But I’ll keep trying.

I’ll keep praying.

I’ll keep trusting that,

with time,

my heart will catch up

to what

I already know.

Until then,

I’ll keep writing it out here,

one word at a time,

because

that’s what helps me

find my balance.

Reina Dee🌿